So...if you were a continent, which continent would you be?

Here's a little fun, something light in celebration of Spring Day here in South Africa...

Which Continent Are You Quiz

1. When you hear the word gracias, you think…

a) there’s a grassy patch near by
b) you’ve been diagnosed with a unnamed skin disorder
c) you’re being offered a laughing, chatting, eating, drinking wine
d) someone’s saying thank you but you don’t care, don’t they know who you are?
e) you reply with “no hay problema” and imagine them naked
f) you take it as an insult and open up a can of whip ass
g) is this a bad dream?

2. You never leave for a holiday without…

a) your surgical mask
b) waterless hand cleanser and disposable toilet seat covers
c) a bottle opener
d) your new digital camera and a healthy back up supply of memory cards to document every moment of your trip and induce a trance-like state on whoever you show your scrapbook to
e) coconut tanning oil
f) your lucky rabbit’s foot
g) extra thermal undies

3. You pass time at the airport by…

a) Sifting through restaurant magazines and unfolding all the doggy ears
b) Discussing luggage locks and emergency exits with airport security
c) Cram inside the glasshouse smoking section, chain smoke for a half an hour and watch the people at McDonalds throw stones at you
d) Wander around the Duty Free shops for shirts that say, “My travel agent booked my flights 12 hours apart and all I got was this lousy tshirt”
e) Shave your legs and give yourself a facial in the airport toilets
f) Conducting surveys for the Mile High Club
g) Standing in front of air conditioners and take photographs of yourself with the artificial wind in you hair

4. When you arrive in a new country, you always…

a) Speak in loud, broken English to blank hotel staff and tip the porter with a copy of “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”
b) Insist on a few extra chocolates on your pillow every night, I mean for what you’re paying…you may as well make the most of it, right?
c) Buy a local instrument, become a street musician for a day and spend your earnings at a five star restaurant for dinner
d) Make prank phone calls and hiss at strangers on public transport
e) Ask directions to the local dealer
f) Call Mum and ask her for her pension to buy more beer
g) Apply self tan

5. When you arrive in a new country, you never…

a) Show pictures of your pets to just anyone
b) Drink the water
c) Bath on Sundays
d) Call home
e) Give out your real email address
f) Say never
g) Let that hot, sweaty pool boy out of your sight

6. Your idea of a good time is…

a) Putting the “Do Not Disturb” sign on your door and watching hours of the Discovery channel
b) Reading your Lonely Planet, alone
c) Getting drunk on the local brew and faking a terminal illness to get laid
d) Hand out plaque cards to the local homeless population saying things like, “Need beer,” “Home is where the Red Heart is” and “There’s no place like home”
e) Dancing in the street barefoot
f) Giving the taxi driver a lesson in Advanced Driving
g) Visiting the local bottle store and spending time in the walk in fridges


7. You walk around your destination saying…

a) How much for sex?
b) Western toilet? Western toilet anywhere?
c) Does this come in an XXXL?
d) What you looking at?! Do you want a piece of me?
e) You don’t talk, you just sniff
f) You add the syllable “o” to everything and punctuate with a mate
g) Is it just me or is it hot in here?

8. You’ve always wanted to try…

a) Raw sea turtle eggs
b) Riding an electronic rodeo bull
c) Swimming with sting rays
d) The Texas Rattlesnake Recipe
e) Travelling on a fake passport
f) This at home
g) Chilli poppers

9. When planning your itinerary you…

a) Always schedule enough time between sightseeing to update your Twitter profile
b) Make a provisional booking to write down all the wisdom you’ve acquired dodging cow dung and beggars in your new Eckhart Tolle Travellers Journal
c) Forget it on the plane and visit the nearest fortune teller to give you the summarised version
d) Make photocopies to hand out to fellow travellers so you never have to look for a pen when you’re inviting someone to your hotel room to swap…um…travelling stories
e) Divide your time equally between tanning, drinking and flirting
f) Follow it strictly for the first two days, then use the paper to light a fire when the hostel kicks you out
g) Calculate the time in your home country and destination country and always carry two watches

10. If you were a souvenir, you’d be…

a) an Aloha shirt
b) a key ring
c) a beer mug
d) an ashtray
e) a bottle of Tequila
f) a t shirt that says, “I’m not a gynaecologist but I’ll take a look”
g) any non perishable food stuff



IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY A:

ASIA
You’re the brains of the continents. You also want adventure and you’ll find it. You’re curious, resourceful, and enthusiastic. You’re in touch with what’s going on around you and your peers look up to you as a smart, keen explorer with a great sense of humour. You’re also something of a gadget guru, so you’re the person everyone wants to travel with because you’re possibly one of the last people on earth who owns a Garmin / Tom Tom and can still read a map. Be aware of people who just want to use you though, you might find yourself having to say good bye to fair weather friends, a job which you’ll find painful but necessary.


IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY B:

EUROPE
A romantic, you’re an idealist. You don’t want the bad news, but if you do ever hit a bump in the road, you’ll always take the optimistic view. While your head is in the clouds, your glass is always fall full of some ridiculously expensive but fabulous red wine. You enjoy the good life, opulence and five star anything. Not shallow or superficial though, you just want to preserve some of the romance that once made great men write love letters and painters paint. Be careful of being too frivolous though, sometimes the wind changes and all that caution you through away might end up littering your front garden.


IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY C:

NORTH AMERICA
You’re bold, proud and know what you want. You can be generous but don’t take kindly to being patronised or disrespected. A leader, you’re always in the front of the pack. Sometimes misunderstood, or judged too quickly as abrupt or rude, you might have to let someone else have the last say sometimes as not to alienate the people closest to you. Overall, you’re likeable because you are so powerful, just don’t abuse your power, it will rarely work in your favour.


IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY D:

AFRICA
You’re the rebel, the original thinker, the ones who dares and usually wins. Even when you don’t win, you make sure you had a good time. Sometimes a bit too reckless, trust your own inner wisdom to make sure you’re making the right decisions. Never one to be alone, you enjoy being around other people and might even have a reputation as the life of the party. A natural leader, you’re smart, witty and resourceful just be sure not to over commit yourself and let others down.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY E:

SOUTH AMERICA
You’re sensual, the lover of the continents and attractive to everybody. You’re magnetic. While you love all the attention that others bestow on you, you must be careful of becoming vain or conceited. Still with your feet on the ground, you have enough natural charm to win anyone over. Ambitious, strong and resilient, you have an inherent rebellion inside you that can either mean success or failure. You can be selfish and temperamental but all is usually forgiven with one of your famous smiles.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY F:

AUSTRALIA
You’re everyone’s best friend, until you’re not. Traditional and good-natured, you prefer the wholesome life, adventure mixed with responsibilities. You’re also well liked and surround yourself with people who admire you. Casual and unreserved, you’re open, warm and fun to talk to. Beneath the surface, you can be serious, intense, and negative. Like the Outback, you can be harsh and cruel to those who seem weak to you. Explore those feelings only when it’s safe to do so and give yourself a little more credit, some people really do just like you for you.

IF YOU ANSWERED MOSTLY G:

ANTARCTICA
You’re chilled, on your own planet, on your own mission. Unaffected by what panics others; you want the simple things in life and to have as much fun as possible. Sometimes distant and aloof, you don’t willingly get close to others but find that it happens on its own. A thinker and sometimes a dreamer, your feelings are sometimes the last thing on your mind. Other people’s feelings are even further from your mind but remember that we’re not all the same as you; some people have more feelings than thoughts. You’re strong, stable and the definition of cool.